Are you suffering from "PPMT" ? (Pre and Post Mail Tension) Interpretation Tips - Intimacy Tips for Him and Her
Read on to find out…
We talked to 26,000 people across the UK (polled by Lightspeed Research) and found that misunderstanding email has turned 52% us into nervous wrecks in our work and personal lives. If left unchecked this can lead to PPMT (Pre and Post Mail Tension) syndrome, a new email phenomenon identified by our online behavioural expert Helen Petrie, Professor of Human Computer Interaction at City University, London.
Our research discovered:
- 61% of people using email at work are worried about becoming the next Claire Swires with their private messages potentially being leaked to the office and world at large
- 75% of people admitted to using email in an attempt to impress people they fancy
- Romantic 'inbox expectations' preoccupy us and cause time wasting at work - two thirds of people surveyed admitted to having problems concentrating and waste time checking and rechecking for emails from love interests
And when the reply finally arrives, it's just the start of our troubles…
- Reading too much into an email led to 50% of people completely misinterpreting it
- 12% of those people then had an argument because of the confusion and 2% even broke up with their partners
How to avoid email pitfalls?
We've worked with Professor Helen Petrie to develop a list of tips on avoiding common email pit falls and the rigours of PPMT. You can also visit our email masterclass for expert tips on how to flirt on email without adverse side effects.
Our survey of 26,000 UK residents found over half are suffering from PPMT (Pre and Post Mail Tension), affecting their work and personal lives. Yahoo! Mail has worked with online behavioural expert Helen Petrie, Professor of Human Computer Interaction at City University, to develop the following advice on avoiding PPMT:
1. Set the right tone for the occasion
- As with face to face communication, our initial reaction to someone is made within seconds of glancing at an email so creating the right impression is essential
- Sloppy spelling, emoticons e.g. :-) ;-) :-P and explanation marks might be fine for friends, but won't impress a new boss or could come across as too familiar to a special new person
2. If you're not clear what's someone's saying, ask
- In professional situations, people value and remember someone who gets the end result right, they won't remember one or two extra questions on the way
- You'll appear thoughtful and avoid more embarrassing or damaging situations
3. Don't be offended too easily by perceived "harsh" emails
- Email is great for conveying facts, but can be bad at conveying emotion as only 30% of communication is based on words, while 70% is deduced from body language, facial expressions and tone of voice
- As emails lack these visual/vocal cues, the tone can be lost
- So don't react to a seemingly "harsh" email immediately:
(a) Close the email and take a break. When you're calmer, read the email objectively. Is it really offensive or just thoughtless?
(b) Ask a friend/colleague to read the email. Being one step away from the situation, they will be more objective
4. Don't hit the send key when you're angry
- It's good to write things down when you're angry as it can help deal with emotions, but don't hit the send key
- Wait till you calm down, let the email sit for a while, eg with your Yahoo! Mail "save draft" feature. Carefully think through the consequences of sending the email and then decide…
- If in two minds, sleep on it and or ask a third party to review the content for objective advice
5. Concise is best
- Research shows we read 25 % fewer words per minute on a computer screen than on paper, so it's best to keep it short and polish your effort to make sure it gets the message across clearly
- We suggest you draft an email and then edit it down to half it's original length to get the important key points across effectively
6. Never say on email what you wouldn't say in person
- Aside from misinterpretation by the intended recipient, email can be forwarded to others without context, leaving them to draw their own conclusions
Inbox Intimacy Tips
Inbox Intimacy tips for the Guys and the Girls
Yahoo! Mail and our online behavioural expert Helen Petrie, Professor of Human Computer Interaction at City University, London, have the following advice for blossoming email relationships:
Flirting For Guys
1. Keep it short and sweet
- Don't bore the object of your desire with too much detail about your life and views early on
- Give an honest impression of the kind of person you are, but keep it light and fun as it's easy to come across in email as being really intense and put girls off (unless of course you really are intense)
2. Show the girls romance isn't dead - revive the art of the love letter
- As our research shows, email is the perfect way to be more flirtatious, romantic or smooth talking than you would be face to face
· If you tend to mumble and turn bright red when trying a compliment in the flesh, make a start via email
3. Don't start or pursue an argument
- Email is perfect for most kinds of communication, except arguing - our research shows confusing email arguments can actually lead to relationship break up
- It's easy to hurt her because you can't see or hear her reaction or you could misinterpret her email because you're upset
- If an argument is brewing, be a big man and sort it out face to face
4. Show what a caring person you are
- Emails can help add the small, thoughtful touches to a budding relationship
- Know she's got an important meeting? Timing is everything so a quick email wishing her luck will boost her confidence and let her know you're thinking of her without interrupting her work
5. You're only human - show some emotion!
- Hard as it can be, it's really important to communicate your feelings in relationships
- You need to be a little bit more obvious on email to communicate emotion than in person
- If words don't come easy, try emoticons, which are animated faces with smiles, laughs and kisses to better convey how you feel etc. Yahoo! Mail has a selection of emoticons.
Flirting For The Girls
1. Go on, be a flirt!
- If you'd never dream of chatting up a bloke in person, find an excuse to email him instead - it might be easier
- Doing it via email gives you a bit more time to think of witty, sexy things to say and build up some inbox intimacy
- When you've built up a rapport, hint that you'd like to see him in person or even better use your female wiles in influencing him to ask you out
2. So how long should you wait before replying?
- It depends on the tone of the email, but as a rule Professor Petrie advises to leave it at least twenty minutes at the start of a relationship to avoid appearing over-keen
- Replying within an hour will give across the message that you like him and want to progress
- If he knows you're online and you leave it more than four hours, you'll appear luke warm and if you leave until the next day he may give up altogether
3. Find his weakness and use email to exploit it
- If there's a bloke you fancy, try and find out what his obsession is and find an excuse to email him about it
- You can then send him emails about football, music or whatever his interest is to establish a dialogue and on-going communication
- Be wary of appearing to be an e-stalker though
4. Don't wait by your computer
- Our research showed 64% of people find it hard to concentrate when waiting for an email reply from someone they fancy
- Make a pact that you'll only check email once an hour (half an hour if you're really desperate)
- If you can't concentrate, take a break for 10 minutes, think about something positive (other than him), come back and try again
- Sign up for a Yahoo! Mobile alert package which will text you when he finally emails
5. Health check your flirty emails
- Make sure you're not giving the wrong impression by getting a girlfriend to read your email before you send to the man you fancy
- For a true insight, get a male friend to sanity check before you hit send
6. Don't build your expectations too high
- It's only natural to try and be as interesting, witty and sexy as possible on email - our research shows three quarters of people use email in this way!
- When you meet in person, your email Romeo may not be quite as smooth - so make allowances
and finally, for both sexes
- If things don't work out, don't dump someone via email.
- It's not a cool thing to do. At least discuss it with your not-so-beloved-anymore face to face and try to soften the blow
- Revenge is sweet
- Be careful if you upset your loved one he or she can take your email and re-write it to their whim and forward to all and sundry
- And remember don't say anything defamatory in an email, no matter how upset or angry you are
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